Friday, April 8, 2011

Carmen Sandiego For Facebook Clues

Carmen Sandiego for Facebook Clues with traits and locations Press Ctrl + F to find the clues you need! :) Happy Finding! More to come later! :)


Body Type


He seemed like the guy who's always picked first at recess. Also like the kind of guy who'd steal the ball.

He seemed suspicious, so I tried to take notes about his appearance, but he was so toned that I ended up just asking for an autograph.

I thought he was a shoplifter, because he looked like he could do exactly that.

I'd give you less than a sporting chance of bringing down a woman who appears to be that good at sports.

She'll be hard to outmaneuver. With that build, it looks like she can play offense AND defense.

The guy looked built to throw a discus, hurl a javelin, or jump a hurdle. Put it this way: I wouldn't want to meet him on a dark track or field. ~Athletic


At first I thought she was bowing respectfully, then I realized she just had bad posture. For a second there, I felt so flattered!

He seemed sad at first. Then I saw him smiling and I realized it was just his posture that made him look depressed.

His posture made me think he would have benefited from a lumbar brace.

If doing the limbo allowed you to bend forward, he’d be a natural for it. Shame it doesn’t; maybe if he’d been a hit at parties he wouldn’t have turned to crime.

Let’s just say I don’t think it’s going to take her much effort to keep her head down.

Look, go easy on the guy when you catch him. He had the posture of a Notre Dame bellringer.

Looked to me like he suffered from kyphosis, but I'm not a doctor, so I can't know for sure. ~Hunched


He asked me for a toothpick, but I'd say she was already built like one.

He might be hard to find. That man could successfully hide behind a lamppost.

I bet she's a pretty skilled crook. The way she's built, she probably has no trouble squeezing into tight places.

I commented on her narrow waist, and she narrowed her eyes at me as well.

His build reminded me of that famous poker player, Amarillo.

She was a waif with a body like a wafer that would waffle with the slightest waft of wind. Try saying that five times fast. ~Slim


I'm guessing that she had to buy two seats on the flight she took out of the city.

If you were fattening her up to eat her, you'd already have succeeded. Er... not that I'm advocating cannibalism.

Not too tall, not too thin. I guess I should be more direct and say: he's short and chunky.

Oh I remember your suspect, she really stood out in a crowd. At least, she took up a lot of space in one.

She looked like someone you don't want to go up against in a pie-eating contest.

The guy was built like a brick house. A very short one with no chimney.

You've heard of six-pack abs? Well, this woman was packing a keg. ~Stocky


He was a skyscraper of a man. I wonder how the view was from the top.

I don't know why he went into crime. He could have made a fortune helping people reach things on their top shelves.

I would liken him to film's most infamous inferno, except he wasn't actively on fire at the time I saw him.

I’d describe her as statuesque, but it maybe more accurate to say Washington Monumentesque.

If I were him, I'd really install a blinking red light on my forehead. After all, helicopters are everywhere.

The top of my head came up to his bellybutton. And to be frank, I was impressed with how clean it was.

When I saw him, I asked, “How’s the weather up there?” Apparently, it was raining non-amusement.

When she showed up, she had to duck to get through the door.

When she walked in, she blocked out the sky. I considered joining her syndicate just to save on sunscreen.

You know how some people walk around with their heads in the clouds? He did that literally. ~Towering

Distinguishing Characteristics


For all this lady stole, she seemed concerned someone might try to snatch her body. Probably why she had it under guard.

He and the burly guy he rolled with looked so close, they could probably finish each other’s jail sentences.

He looked important. Or at least he was willing to hire someone to make him look important.

He must have been inclined to loneliness, because he insisted on keeping very close company.

She had an accessory. Not the purse kind, the knee-breaking kind.

This guy had backup, and not the kind for his computer files either.

Who did this guy think he was, the President? Because if so, he really needed more than a one-member Secret Service. ~Bodyguard

~~~~Floppy Hat~~~~

His hat seemed to have a life of its own!

I once read a children's book about a famous cat. This guy shared a taste in apparel, but he appeared less fun-loving.

I remember him favoring headwear that looked like an open flower. A crime flower!

If hats were handshakes, hers would be untrustworthy.

It was impossible to make eye contact with him, what with his headborne accessory always getting in the way. Another opportunity for human connection, lost. Hey are you busy later?

She was wearing what the French would call un grand châpeau.

That hat was impressive. Too bad about the face beneath it. ~Floppy Hat

~~~~Fur Coat~~~~

Dressed like that, I'd guess he was on his way to the opera, or to a Siberian fortress, or to agitate an animal rights activist.

He must have just had a long night. It looked like he’d had to crawl inside an animal for warmth and never got out.

He seemed uncomfortable in his skin, but quite comfortable in something else’s skin.

If his coat had a name, it would definitely be Harry. Sorry, that’s just how I think.

She seemed cold. Either that, or she was unusually attached to her outerwear. Maybe it was once her pet raccoon dog.

What she was wearing could only be described as "lustrous." I had a strong urge to comb it.

When he first walked in, I though, "Oh my goodness, a bear!" Though it would have been more accurate to have mistaken him for a man-sized chinchilla. ~Fur Coat


He said he liked to keep his leg in shape with a daily coat of wood oil. I tried it myself, but my leg’s made of the wrong material.

He was the kind of person who you want to kick in the shin, if one of them wasn't guaranteed to bust your toe.

He was trying to lift something, and I told him to bend at the knees. It was awkward, because he only had one of them.

He wasn't just a criminal, he was a criminal accessory. At least that leg was.

I hope you take this guy down a peg. Which in his case would leave him one limb down.

She was a criminal? I had her pegged. Of course, after she lost that limb, she also had herself pegged.

She was a real stick-in-the-mud. Well, one of her legs would have been if she were walking on a muddy field. ~Peg-Leg

~~~~Pet Raven~~~~

Birds of a feather stick together, so judging by the company she kept I guess this girl had feathers.

He had such beady little eyes. I guess it's true that some people start to look like the animals they keep.

I don’t want to crow, but I know the distinction between his companion and a crow.

I wanted to show him some footage I’d taken of the center of the planet, but he said, “No thanks, I have a corvid right here.” Get it?

It looked like she’d stolen something from the Tower of London, though it could have just flown away itself.

One look at this guy and I knew he was ravin’ mad. Or mad for ravens. What’s the expression again?

She asked me if I had any mealworms for her friend. Didn't make any sense until she took the curtain off the cage she was carrying.

The lady was impressive. I'd never seen anyone else teach their animal companion to shake claws. ~Pet Raven

Eye Color

~~~~Blue Eyes~~~~

Her eyes reminded me of raspberry candy. Why is it that raspberry candy is never actually the color of raspberries?

His eyes had seen a lot. They reminded me of a music genre that tends toward the bitterly nostalgic.

His eyes were opposite orange on the color wheel. I’m a very artistic person, and I’ve had a very bad day, so that’s all I’ll tell you.

It's like Satchmo said, "I see eyes of--" What? Skies? What are you talking about? I'm talking about her eyes here. ~Blue Eyes

~~~~Brown Eyes~~~~

He had eyes like an oxidized Granny Smith apple.

He had eyes like tree bark, but only color-wise. Texture-wise, they were more like eyes.

Her eyes were the most common hair color.

I looked deep into her eyes, and saw -- well, I don't remember what I saw, but it was pretty generic.

She had real eagle eyes. Not in terms of sharpness, more in terms of below-the-neck feather color.

She managed to look distinguished despite having the most common eye color.

What could brown do for this gal? See. ~Brown Eyes

~~~~Green Eyes~~~~

Based on what I saw, you're looking for a guy with eyes like pineapple fronds. In terms of color, not spikiness.

He showed me he had eyes the color of money. It was a pretty rich metaphor.

Her eyes were the color of a popular canned vegetable spokesman, though they were anything but jolly. And also average-sized.

Her eyes were the color of my mother's thumb. My mother was a gardener, you see.

How are you going to find this guy? You look totally inexperienced! Come to think of it, so did his eyes.

I had a good look at her eyes. To paraphrase a famous frog, it’s not easy being that color.

I was jealous of his eye color, which was certainly appropriate.

I would describe her eyes as a mix between the color of emeralds, and the color of the cash you get from fencing emeralds.

If eyes are the windows to the soul, this gal had some pretty lush vegetation growing in her soul.

Leaves! The girl's eyes were the color of leaves! In the summer, of course. I suppose autumn doesn't really narrow it down. ~Green Eyes

~~~~Smoky Eyes~~~~

Her eyes were cinereous. Or were they cinereal? Wait, I think they might have been cineroid. Why do I even bother learning big words?

His eyes were so striking that I tried to write a poem about them, but all I could think of that rhymed with their color was “okey dokey.”

I had to look away from his eyes so that mine wouldn't die from inhalation of his.

If eyes were hair, his would be distinguished.

If his eyes had musical talent, they'd be lead singer of the Miracles.

I'll never forget her eyes, because I never forget anything that desaturated.

When I saw him, there wasn't a cloud in the sky. They'd all migrated to his eyes. ~Smoky Eyes

~~~~Violet Eyes~~~~

Her eyes were roughly the same color as the haze that took Jimi Hendrix somewhere interesting. Uh, that kind of stuff's not in your jurisdiction, is it?

Her eyes were what you might find at the end of a mnemonic rainbow.

I felt at ease with him, because his eyes represent harmony in Chinese painting. I had some time to look things up on the Internet.

I thought she’d been punched in the eye, but it turned out that color was natural, not the result of a few days of bruising.

I wanted to write a poem about her eyes. Did you know that there is NO word that rhymes with “purple?”

I'll say this much: if his eyes were prose, they'd be overdone.

Looking into her eyes, I had a deep desire for a piece of grape gum.

She had an unusual eye color. Unless she was wearing red contacts over blue irises. In which case, I'd say she was just an unusual girl. ~Violet Eyes

Favorite Food

~~~~Chinese Food~~~~

He kept bringing up how much he liked bamboo shoots. Though in fairness, I'm often confused for a panda.

I offered her broccoli, but she insisted on bok choi. Is it strange that I offered the broccoli? Or that I had the bok choi?

Oh I remember her, she was carrying about a dozen of those little white cardboard take-out containers. Though she said at least half of them were full of diamonds.

She had some really interesting ideas about the future of the scallion pancake. Whatever her crimes, we need more thinkers like that.

She left me her fortune: “YOU WILL SOON ROB THE LOUVRE.” Still has some crumbs in it.

She let it slip that she was craving good mu shu. I should never have let it slip that I secretly sell exactly that.

She was wearing one of those beer hats, but the bottles were filled with egg drop soup. That woman knew how to party. ~Chinese Food

~~~~Italian Food~~~~

He had a craving for balsamic-marinated octopus. It paired well with my craving for other company.

He had strong opinions about whether it was okay just to order a primi piatti, or if you had to get the secondi as well. I cut him off before he could weigh in on dessert.

He said he'd tried every kind of olive from Sicily to Milan. I said it was time for a new hobby.

He wanted a meal to complement, in his words, a "1945 Brunello di Montalcino di someone else."

I remember her saying she could eat a meal fit for a Pope. I also remember picturing an excited Pope in a bib.

If she talked one more time about how much more "connected to history" she felt while rolling her own pasta, I'd have put her through the fettucini shredder.

She offered to feed me, but only if she could cover my table with a red-and-white checkered tablecloth first. ~Italian Food

~~~~Mexican Food~~~~

At first I thought he was being rude, but then I realized he actually did have serious "nacho business."

He liked his co-conspirators hardened and his ice cream fried. Unless I got that backwards.

He slathered everything with mole sauce. I was disgusted, until he assured me it's not actually made of subterranean rodents.

Holy frijoles! I mean it, he stole my prized can of black beans the Pope had blessed.

I thought she was calling me a gordita, and I was offended. Turns out she was just trying to order food.

She gave me a chile look, and then a poblano look, and then a jalapeno look. I don’t know why she didn’t just come out and say she liked spicy food.

She showed up with Oaxaca cheese on her chin. I pointed it out to her, and she stormed out, muttering about Tlayuda.

When you catch her, will you ask if she prefers soft or hard corn tortillas? I forgot to ask and it’s been bugging me.

Yeah, I remember him. But I'd probably remember anyone who walked in here munching on a wheel of cotija. ~Mexican Food

~~~~New American Food~~~~

He seemed intent on doing something with two huge bags of frisee and escarole. Can't imagine what, though.

He wouldn’t shut up about his plans for an upscale deli sandwich truck.

I can't tell you much about her psychological profile. Just her flavor profile: heavy on the bacon.

I offered her some shepherd’s pie, but she said she preferred it made with sweet potatoes and turkey glace.

If he recited one more paean to the wonders of pork belly, I was going to be sick to my belly.

She said she was working to perfect, and I swear this is what she said, "a savory meditation on gumbo." What? Come on. Is that even food?

She said she'd just come from the market, and I wasn't going to BELIEVE the pliability of the plums she'd bought for her deconstructed cobbler. I told her to go deconstruct herself. ~New American Food


He said he was strictly herbivorous. I responded that I was strictly ambivalent.

He seemed pretty high on drinking only almond milk, until I described the brutal workings of almond-milking machines.

I take pride in being on top of the food chain. He took pride in avoiding it altogether.

She was the kind of girl who was so high and mighty about livestock rights, it made you want to invest in groundbreaking research proving vegetables suffer when you cook them.

The guy was so militant, he wouldn't even let a chicken cook him dinner. Seems like a waste of a perfectly talented chicken. ~Vegan

Hair Color


As far as hair goes, I’d say his looked like the Harvard and Brown football teams had hit each other so hard that their colors mixed together.

He had seasonal hair: I'd describe it as chestnut, roasting on an open fire.

His hair was the second letter in that classic color acronym, RAY G BIV. I wonder how the Bivs are doing these days.

His tresses seemed to alternate between umber and rust, depending on the light. Even so, he refused to let me paint him in the nude.

I told her she had great hair, then asked where I could get a reddish-brown wig like that. Then I was like, "Aw, burn!"

I would describe him as cinnamon-headed. In color, that is, though rest assured I also tasted it. It was a bit nuttier than your standard red.

She had hair like Gloria Estefan. I wonder if you'll get her as surely as the rhythm will get you? ~Auburn


Her head was covered in flax. Toss in some honey-nut clusters, you’ve got yourself a healthy breakfast.

His hair was like the bottom part of a famous Bob Dylan album title. Or was it the top part? Could be both.

I’d describe his hair as somewhere between saffron and a Liverpool rock group’s submarine.

It was like someone planted wheat all over his head.

One look at his hair and I thought, "This guy has more fun."

You know that dessert? Darker than cookies, more like a cake, served in squares? Yeah, his hair was the opposite of that. ~Blonde

~~~~Dark Hair~~~~

Close your eyes. That’s what his hair looked like from really close up.

Do you have a box on that checklist for hair? Because hers was dark.

Hair-wise, I’d describe him as a cross between a panther and a sinkhole.

He had hair the color of cola. Or was it diet cola?

Her hair absorbed light like her pockets absorbed my money clip.

His hair was the color of demon’s ichor, or really rich chocolate. Hm, now I’m double-hungry.

It's hard to describe his hair color. It was almost like every color at once.

Judging by her hair, she was up to some real back-alley business. I'm talkin' real shady.

She had hair like a brightly lit room, with all the lights off.

Sorry, but I couldn't make out the color of her hair through all the blackness. ~Dark Hair

~~~~Grey Hair~~~~

He had a lot more youthful energy than his hair would suggest. And let me tell you, it was pretty suggestive hair.

He was slate-headed, and come to think of it was also carrying a slate. On which he'd sketched a very convincing self-portrait.

I'll tell you this much: if her hair were a woman from history, it'd have ruled England for 9 days in 1553.

Once I saw his hair I had to stop myself from asking how old he was. No particular reason, it's just a problem I have in social situations.

She had hair the color of overcast skies. Kind of ruined my day, to be honest.

You know how some hair is a little brown and a little blonde, or a little red and a little auburn? Well, hers was a little black and a lot white.

You might think she's evil, but judging by her hair she's of a more ambiguous morality. ~Grey Hair

~~~~Red Hair~~~~

Do you happen to have any freshly boiled lobster? I've been craving some ever since I saw her hair. Guess I should see someone about that.

He had these great-looking, vivid burgundy locks. Pretty good-looking burgundy keys, too. Turns out that's what he'd used to break into my place.

I remember her hair being purple, but that might have been during my brief experiment with blue-tinted sunglasses.

I wonder if she gets her hair cut by a professional, or if she just hires Moses to part it.

If his hair had a last name like “Buttons” or “Skelton,” it could make it as a 1940s comedian.

Roses are red / violets are blue / her hair was like one of those things / see if you can guess which.

You're in luck, I clipped a lock of his hair. Here it is, the color of polished garnet. Now can you take off your hat for a second? ~Red Hair



From what I saw, if you do catch her it’ll be one more in a long line of bad draws.

He bragged that your odds weren’t very good. Then he bet on you for the bigger payout.

He said he wasn't used to being in a place with so few mirrors, so many clocks, and no cards to count. I told him I had a couple in my wallet, if that helped.

If you’re going to catch him, you’d better have an ace up your sleeve. Because he’d stuffed a bunch into his pant legs.

She said, "let's make this interesting," and then put money down on whether I knew what she meant by that.

She seemed taken aback when I didn't offer her free drinks just for being here.

She was very distracted. She kept checking her fantasy football team, her fantasy hockey team, her fantasy fantasy team-owner team, and her fantasy slot machine.

When you catch him, you should check his pockets. He kept saying he had kings in there! ~Gambling


He is a growing threat. And by that I mean, a threat that grows things.

He wasn't afraid to call a spade a spade, or a telescopic bypass lopper a telescopic bypass lopper.

In the criminal landscape, she was the one who planted the seeds of chaos. And the literal seeds, also.

Like Mary, Mary, he was quite contrary, and he spent a good deal of time worrying about how his garden grows.

She told me she knew of eleven secret herbs and spices that you could grow as part of a relaxing and productive pastime.

She was concerned about greenhouse gases. Not the kind that warm the earth, the kind that her dog emitted if it started rooting around in her greenhouse.

The girl had a green thumb—figuratively. Her actual thumbs were the color of the rest of her hands. Does that help you sketch her?

The woman was twisted. I saw her hanging tomato plants upside down. Maybe she was torturing them to admit whether they were fruits or vegetables.

With those dirt stains all over his pants, he looked like he had just come back from burying something valuable. I'm thinking goldenrod. ~Horticulture


He kept eyeing my shirt-front, like he had plans to redesign it.

He left behind this spool of thread. Think you can give it back during the arrest?

He said he was one of those people who sees patters where none exist, but luckily he’d found a hobby that gave him an outlet for that.

He said you'd find him as easily as a needle in a haystack. Come to think of it, he used a lot of sewing metaphors.

Her hobby was out there, so out there it reached all the way to the parlors of 18th-century Colonial Williamsburg.

She said, “I’ve been framed!” But then she held up a scroll frame.

She was bragging about her cross stitch, talk about a red flag. No I mean it: she'd sewn an exquisite red flag. ~Needlepoint

~~~~Steam Robotics~~~~

All he could talk about was valve gears. All I could talk about was how he needed a new hobby.

Do you have any idea what the Carnot cycle is? Because that was how he explained the flow of money from my cash register to his giant burlap sack.

I had a four-hour debate with the guy on the merits of cross compounds vs. tandem compounds vs. angle compounds. Maybe that’s why my headache is still compounding.

It was hard to hear what he was saying, what with his giant bag of copper pipes and steel gearshafts all clankin' around.

Oh yeah, this gal. We had such an awkward conversation, but she got along really well with my hydraulic toaster.

She had grandiose plans to build a perfect replica of the Automatic Man. I hope she succeeds, so she can meet something with more personality than her.

She waxed poetic on the virtues of the fireless locomotive. I waxed the hood of my regular car and told her to go away. ~Steam Robotics~


I remember that we started talking at the same time, she said "let!", and then we started over.

He said he didn’t respect any judge’s authority, unless they were sitting in a high sideline chair.

She tracked a bunch of clay in here. Where’d she get that?

She wanted me to meet her in an alley. But I had to bring a partner, or it'd be out of bounds.

She was less worried about your dragnet than the court's net.

She was the only person I've ever met who claimed her bracelet was athletic gear.

When I said she was over the line, she yelled, "YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS! YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" for ten minutes. ~Tennis

Personality Quirks


Between you and me, he would have put a glass screen coated in enzymes that made it impossible for anyone to listen in from outside with directional mics.

Every time I tried to reason with him, he told me I was "talking math" and then buried his face in a foil bag.

He asked me to deny that he was ever here. Is it too late to do that?

He kept talking about "shadowy forces." I told him here, we call those trees.

He was an endless font of curiosity. At least that's how I interpreted his constant demands to know what I "had on him."

If I heard her mention a conspiracy one more time, I was gonna report her to the Illuminati.

She gave me a pamphlet, then accused me of being part of the International Brotherhood of Pamphlet Takers.

She kept looking around for "bugs." Didn't matter that I'd just had the exterminator in. ~Paranoia

~~~~Poor Hygiene~~~~

As soon as he walked in, I saw a cockroach. He apologized, saying they usually stay in his socks.

He asked if there was a good place to eat nearby. I suggested whatever was stuck to his shirt.

He left hours ago, but his cheese odor felt like hanging out.

She had white hair. At least I think she did. A lot of it seemed to be crawling around.

There were some holes in his corduroys. Unless those were his legs, and the holes were dried half-and-half.

This woman may be hard to take down. She was clearly impervious to toothbrushes. ~Poor Hygiene


First she skipped words, and then she skipped town.

She must have had a thing for consonants, because she kept repeating them.

She told me she suffered from alalia syllabaris, though it took her a while to finish telling me that.

She was a woman of few words. Not by choice, though.

The way she talked reminded me of Moses, though her promised land sounded a lot like a bank vault.

There was something halting about the way he talked.

Words to him were like hurdles. He kept tripping over them. ~Stutter

~~~~Talks to Animals~~~~

He could have been a mole. He certainly talked like one.

He didn’t strike me as a stool pigeon, but I did see him pull up a stool next to a pigeon and chew the fat.

He pointed out a mounted policeman and said the horse was his informant.

I saw him in the park feeding squirrels. But first, he asked them for their order.

It was almost like she knew what that stray cat was thinking when it said, and I quote, "hiss."

She spent the whole time barking into her cell phone. ~Talks to Animals

~~~~Zero Carbon Footprint~~~~

He wanted to know if I was a local. I was afraid that meant he was considering eating me.

He went around unplugging everyone’s phone charger. Guess he had some sort of outlet fetish.

He wouldn't turn on the air conditioning unless it was powered by geothermal heat.

I think even his clothes were made of soy. I bet tofu would make nice cushiony socks.

She asked me directions to a place she could buy carbon offsets for asking directions.

She had a photo album full of pictures of wind turbines. Said she took them with a solar-powered camera.

She sped away in her car, leaving a plume of frying oil. It was the first time a getaway ever made me hungry.

She was the first person I’ve ever seen with a mobile compost pile. Good place to hide stolen lettuce, right?

She wouldn't let me talk to her until she was sure I was local. ~Zero Carbon Footprint


Ice Cream Truck~

He told me he had a plan to make a mint. Then he gestured at the rest of his flavors and said that’s what had been missing.

No way, you're investigating the frozen dessert guy? I knew Rocky Road wasn't supposed to have shredded bank records in it.

Oh, that woman? You say she’s an internationally-wanted criminal? Well then it’s EXTRA weird that her van’s calliope was playing “I Fought the Law.”

One taste of his Chocolate Peanut Crunch and I was in heaven. By the time I recovered, my ATM card was in his pocket.

She had a pretty innovative frozen custard recipe. The main innovation was the way she stole it from its creator.

Some people sell fro-yo, but after tasting his, I'm pretty sure it was fraud-yo.

You know how some cars come with automatic windows? His came with automatic soft-serve.

You want a real scoop? Then you should have caught this girl before she left town.


I didn’t even know we had airspace until she violated it.

I wonder if his ride had an ejector seat, given that it didn’t have a seat in the first place.

Let me tell you, when he took off from here, he really took off. Didn't request tower clearance or anything.

Oh yeah, she came through here for a second. Actually it was more like a half-second, and all I really heard was a loud FWOOSH.

She did some critical work to shatter the glass ceiling, specifically by blasting through it when she took off.

The way he got around, well, it really made you feel like you were living in the future. Then it made you cough for a while, thanks to the engine fumes.

There was such a fuss when he landed here, no one even noticed that his engine exhaust ruined my begonias. Such is the life of the begonia enthusiast.

Until you catch her, she's free as a bird. Come to think of it, she's also airborne as a bird.

Your suspect had her head in the clouds. Until she landed, anyway. ~Jetpack


Cruising around town in a car like that, I thought she was a crime kingpin. But maybe she was merely a crime dukepin.

Hard to believe she resorted to stealing. With wheels like those, you already look like a million bucks.

He invited me into his car for a confab, then asked the driver to roll up the window. Then we talked. Strange, I’d always thought a confab was a kind of dessert.

He wouldn't get out of his car until his driver opened the door for him. Does that make the driver an accomplice?

His car came stocked with champagne, but at least he wasn’t the one driving. Showed good sense for a criminal.

I couldn’t tell if he was on the way to a heist or to the prom. Either way, those photos we took together were pretty awkward.

Judging by his ride, he was either one of the richest criminals I've ever seen or was on his way back from the airport.

With all the drinks trays his vehicle had, I guess it made sense for him to hire a permanent designated driver. Wish I had that kind of scratch. ~Limousine


I remember thinking, “where’d this girl learn to drive, the streets of Bangalore?” But I must have said it out loud, because she answered, “yes.”

I’d describe her car as one wheel in front, two wheels in back, three priceless works of art in the trunk.

If you've ever wondered what cabs look like before they grow up, ask your suspect. She drove a baby taxi.

I've always wondered what would happen if you combined a regular car and a Vespa, and now that I've seen her vehicle I can finally get a real hobby.

She drove up in a really small vehicle. Couldn't have fit more than three people, maybe four, depending on if she wanted to charge fares.

The girl was a thief! Seriously, I took a ride across town in her mototaxi and the meter ended up at half my year's salary. ~Rickshaw


He rolled in here and asked if I had any griptape. Which of course meant I had to ask him for a dictionary.

He skidded to a stop and then kicked his ride up into his hands. It was probably the coolest thing I’ve ever seen, though for reference, I mostly garden.

His foot-driven mode of transport seemed a bit archaic. Though I suppose it was more advanced than just feet.

I’ll tell you this much: he couldn’t have driven up and down the side of a swimming pool like that in a car.

She asked where the closest half-pipe was, and then she half-jogged, half-rolled there.

She kept asking if I wanted to see her toeslide, and I kept declining because it sounded like a medical thing.

Surfs up for your suspect! Only it’s an ocean of concrete.

Your perp rolled with a pretty rough scene. So rough it was made of asphalt. ~Skateboard



He asked me where he could find a statue of Chhatrapati Shivaji on horseback. Is he doing some kind of a scavenger hunt, I wonder?

He found a perfect garden where he could relax by the River Yamuna.

He was last seen lurking by the mosque built for Jahanara Begum.

He's hiding in hands-down the most wonderful tribute anyone's ever paid to their wife.

He's just outside the fort in the Shah Jahan Gardens.

Here, he dropped this note: "Meet me at the pool outside the House of Dreams. DO NOT bring your swimsuit."

I heard him whisper to someone, "Meet me at the 'Jewel Box.'"

I just know that he's holed up near a white marble mausoleum.

I just know that she was meeting someone in a "drum house"?

I'm not sure where he's going. But I heard him plan a meeting "under the onion dome"?

Your suspect wished to have been in this city in 1556 when the great Hemu Vikramaditya conquered it. ~Agra


He mumbled something about getting a new winter coat at the Rondy.

He said he's swinging by a village on the Eagle River on his way to the city.

He seemed shaky about his destination after I told him about the Good Friday Earthquake.

He told me he was going to run a footrace, but he was scared of the frostbite.

He told me he's in a motel out in Mat-Su. His room looks out on a totem pole!

He's going to the zoo that Annabelle built - or rather, that they built around her.

I don't know if this helps, but she said her favorite film of all time is "Snowriders II."

I heard him mumble, “Grumble grumble, that, Marcus Baker…acting all tough…”

I heard him say he's heading east of the city and into the mountains, unless he runs out of Grizzly Bear spray.

I told her about my favorite James Michener novel. She loved the part about the mammoths crossing the land bridge.

I'll tell you where he went! He went to see the dog sleds slide down Fourth Avenue!

Like I told him, you know you're in the largest state in the Union when you're anchored down here.

She said she was going to win a prize for being chased by reindeer. ~Anchorage


I bet the National Archaeological Museum is a prime target for your suspect. It's full of great stuff, like the mask of Agamemnon.

I did hear her say that she was going to try to get Dionysis Savopoulos's autograph.

I heard her say she was going to where western drama was born. She was pretty dramatic about it, too.

I spotted her trying to look chic at a wine bar in Psyrrí, reading a book in the local language. Of course she was holding it upside down.

I understand he was going to sneak in through the ancient port of Piraeus.

If you wanted to be a thespian, this would be a pretty good place to study. Too bad Thespis ain't around to teach anymore.

Looks like you should head to the birthplace of the Marathon. And the Spartathalon!

My cousin-in-law spotted her at the Theater of Dionysos, asking people when the matinee would start.

Sure, I'll tell you where your guy went. Try not to corrupt the youth while you're over there, okay?

The city you're headed to was chosen to host the first modern Olympics, mostly for nostalgia's sake.

The henchman's holed up in the cradle of Western Civilization, which is ironic, since he's never read anything longer than a placemat.

The naming rights to this city went pretty cheap. It's named after someone who gave them a single olive tree. That's a pretty good deal for such a run-of-the-mill gift!

When you catch this henchwoman, be sure to interrogate her with the Socratic method.

Your henchman's hiding in a temple that was built two-and-a-half millenia ago. Boy do I hope he doesn't break anything.

Your suspect dropped a postcard from the Museum of Cycladic Art, which, as far as I can guess, is a museum of paintings of bike races.

Your suspect was talking about visiting three ancient, public gymnasia, apparently to see if all the athletes still competed while naked.

Your target's headed to what I consider the Platonic ideal of a city. ~Athens


He said "Hook 'Em, Horns!" and then ran out with his hand in the air in a cow-shape. So maybe he's decided to matriculate?

He told me he was going to see Hannemann's life work - if it hasn't been hauled away.

He told me his next destination was incorporated on December 27, 1839. What he didn't tell me was why he knew that, or why I should care.

He was headed to the old stomping grounds of the late, great Ann Richards. Yes, she's famous even over here.

He was in the market for a new laptop, so he went straight to the source. Dude, he got a Dell!

He's heading somewhere along the Colorado River. Does that narrow it down?

He's in a town that went by the name Waterloo. Make sure it becomes his Waterloo, okay?

I only overheard him say, "Meet me at The Tower."

I told him the name of my favorite Cathedral, but I warned him it's a little run-down.

Look for her riding up the Rawhide Trail to the Zoo. Hyah!

She had two tickets for a night showing at the original Alamo Drafthouse. It would be a shame to waste that kind of money, so I urged her to remember the Alamo.

She was going to sneak into a taping at KLRU. Or maybe she was going to rob their pledge drive.

She's sulking in the bathroom at Emo's on Red River.

You know that fancy old car? The Something-Healey? Well, he had a plane ticket for Something.

You might find her hanging with the Congress Street bats. ~Austin


He had his cell phone's speaker on, and you could hear what sounded like paddles in the water and a man chanting, "bot heh rua."

He looked tense and tired. I told him to treat himself to a massage at Abhaibhubejhr College.

He might be hanging around the Oriental Hotel, telling the tourists tall tales about Joseph Conrad.

He said he wanted to catch the Buddha in a nap.

He told me he was going to stowaway on a boat that's making a delivery to some monks.

Here, he dropped this photo of a barge with all the snakes' heads on the prow. What a beaut!

Here, look at this coin she left behind. Is that a prang?

I heard she's raising some cash selling her old junk on Khao San Road.

I recommended that he read the Ramayana before he went, but he said he'd just look at the pictures of the Ramakian instead.

I suggested he visit my favorite museum in the city, but he didn't seem impressed - said it was just full of knock-offs and fakes.

I suggested she check out the bridge running over the River Kwai.

I told him the story of a stucco statue that cracked open to reveal a startling hidden treasure. Now he's gone to the same city to crack open everything in sight.

I'm not sure where he went, but he said something about a buddha. And I can confirm for you that it was round, and cracked a smile. Does that narrow it down?

I've been to the city where she went, but I don't remember much. As the man said, "One town's very like another when your head's down over your pieces, brother."

She told me she was going to prowl around Jim Thompson's house to pick up some tips on the silk business.

When he told me he was looking for a lawyer, I gave him the name of a museum where he could find one.

You could try looking for him at the cabbage patch palace.

You might find her shopping at MBK.

You might find him in Chinatown, mingling along Sampeng Lane. ~Bangkok


A friend of mine saw him coming out of the Drassanes stop, check out the Museu de l' Erotica, and then sneak out five minutes later, blushing.

Before he flew out of there, I rememinded him he'll be there for Dia de Sant Ponç, so be sure to get me some herbs and honey.

He was trying to settle a bet by rollerblading down the longest bench in the world. Luckily park security got there first.

I saw him at the Palau Reial Major. They warned him not to tell any lies in there, and after a while he gave up and left.

I saw him on TV! He was dangling off the pointy side of the Seu Central Gas Natural.

Last I heard he was at Els Quatre Gats. He had a hunch Picasso might've carved his initials on one of the tables.

Oh sure, I saw him stumbling down Carrer Montcada.

Oh yeah, that's the guy who was stage-diving at a Macaco concert.

She told me she was scoping out 'the Real,' whatever that means. Sounds kinda metaphysical to me.

She was practicing her origami at the Passatge Del Temps. Hers came out looking like a sandwich.

She was trying to crash a party at Eusebi Güell's old place.

She went to the palace where they received Colón on his big day back.

She went to the zoo to see Snowflake the gorilla. When they told her Snowflake had... passed, oh, she cried and cried.

Sure, I know exactly where your perp went. Here's a photo he took of himself pretending to ride Botero's "The Cat."

The city you need to visit goes by Ciudad Contal, Barna, and Can Fanga. If only I could remember its real name.

Well, I know he's a huge fan of Ojos de Brujo. Me, I only like their old stuff.

Where did I see him last ... hey, in their student days, who d'you think would've won in a fight - Míro or Picasso?

Yes, I ran into your friend there, but he was very odd. He said something about "dancing" and "sonar"? Is he throwing a party in a submarine?

You know, I heard they're redeveloping Las Arenas to turn it from a bullring to a mixed-use space. Don't you think it would still smell like bull? ~Barcelona


He was meeting his friend at the largest public square in the world - a space big enough to fit a million people.

I hear he was sight-seeing in one of the public squares and asked where the tanks were. The authorities were not pleased.

I just heard a snatch of what she said on the phone: "Meet me on the other side of the Meridian. We'll make the hand-off there."

I know she got in trouble for pestering the tour guide to take her photo on the Dragon Throne

I know she was interested in the amazingly rare fossils found at Chicken-bone Hill.

I suggested she could take a detour and learn about Confucianism at the Imperial College.

I thought it was odd when she asked me where she could get a good look at a DF-1 missile. But I figured it was safest just to answer her.

I told him if he gets out of town, he should take a trip to the Thirteen Tombs. He said that sounded like extra-bad luck.

If you recall your history, in Dadu did Kublai Khan a great capital decree.

She mentioned she needed to get stealthier. You might find her shopping for locally-made sneakers at Sanlitun Village.

She told me she wouldn't be allowed in the heart of the city. "It's right there in the name."

She was definitely going to stop by a Military Museum. But which one?

She's been fascinated by the history of this city ever since he saw Leung Kwok Ng in his most regal role.

Your suspect asked me for everything I knew about the opera of that city. I said all I know about it, I learned from Jackie Chan. ~Beijing


He might be lurking around the Red Town Hall.

He's in a city whose name is thought to mean "swamp." But they've really cleaned the place up since then.

He said he has errands all over the city. Luckily, it's easier to get across town than it used to be.

His ears perked up when I mentioned the Lustgarden.

I heard he was slouching around the Medizinhistorisches Museum, grabbing the exhibits and doing his Igor impersonation.

I heard her say she's heading down the street to the old royal hunting grounds?

I knew that he's a huge MJ fan, so I suggested he stay at the Adlon.

I thought I saw him in the news standing by a colorful wall with the words "Wo Ist Kaptn Nemo?" painted at the top.

I told him if he gets too rowdy, they'll pack him in the Room of Silence.

She asked me for directions to a statue of Frederick. I have a great-uncle named Frederick, but he's not that well-known.

The last time he was in town was for the big Roger Waters concert. He told me he couldn't believe they had the set in place for 28 years, just to tear it down before the show. ~Berlin


He said something about going to a museum to see Pablo Escobar's jacket?

He said something about heading south to see a five-colored river?

He told me he was going to pick up the trail to El Dorado by starting at the source of the legend.

I found a torn-off piece of her "to do" list. Look at this line: "Museum - July 20." What's she doing on that day?

I just know she's meeting someone at a history museum, in a colonial house by a plaza.

I only know that she's at a church dedicated to the Patron Saint of Miners.

I suggested he check out the national museum, but he balked - he told me he makes a habit of steering clear of prisons.

Look for him scalping tickets to a Millonarios home game.

She rode to a church somewhere outside the city. They made her leave her horse behind - it kept licking the walls!

She sent me a postcard of a painting of the Mona Lisa - but why is she so round and overweight?

She told me she was after a museum filled with lots and lots of gold. I knew just where to send her.

She was looking for a pre-Colonial device for grinding coca leaves into paste. When I told her it didn't ring a bell, she showed me a picture of it - printed on a coin!

She's trying to get an audience at the Alcaldía in Plaza de Bolívar.

We were batting around ideas on where she should go next, when she asked me to pass the salt. A lightbulb went off!

Your friend was just in here. We were chatting about Fernando Botero - who were his influences, what he fetches on the black market, and so on. ~Bogota


He had big plans to see "a Pats game." I told him airport security wasn't a game.

He told me he had business in the Combat Zone. When I asked which branch of the service he was in, he said "money laundering."

He wanted to go to the birthplace of Aerosmith. I told him to walk this way.

He was interested in seeing the architectural works of Edmund March Wheelwright, so you might want to look for someone with a Longfellow Bridge-sized suitcase.

He was off to see the world's most famous Pops. The orchestral kind, not the number-one dad.

He went to one of those buttoned-up cities where you can't buy liquor on Sunday. He said that's why he was sure to travel on a Monday.

He's headed somewhere in the United States. I know because he'd made extra preparations to get through airport security.

She proclaimed she was headed to the university with the largest endowment in America. I proclaim she was compensating for something.

She said she was going to camp outside a game developer's office until they finally made "Zoo Tycoon 3."

She said she was off to visit the Lampoon Castle. Apparently they're very welcoming to transients.

She showed me a picture of where she was going next, some place called Faneuil Hall. Which I believe is named after history's weirdest-named person.

She was carrying a visitor's guide to the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum. She was less interested in the collection than its history of enormous heists.

She wanted to visit a city with an NBA basketball team. You should be able to narrow that down from 30, right?

She wanted to visit the college named for Charles Wesley Emerson. I didn't know there was a college named Charles.

She was headed to one of the thirteen original American colonies. Human, not ant.

Your guy was headed to the site of a famous marathon. Not on foot though, which struck me as hypocritical.

Your suspect wanted to meet Curious George in person, and figured The Learning Company headquarters was a good place to start. ~Boston


He just strolled by here whistling "The Blue Danube."

He's sacking out in a safehouse up in the Buda Hills.

I told him if he wants good luck, to do what the students do: Head up by the Castle and rub the statue of Hadik's horse. Just look for the shiny part, you can't miss it.

If he has a free afternoon, he'll probably catch a game. He'll be rooting for Fradi.

She said she was going to blend in with some pilgrims who were headed to a tomb. I suggested that first, she take the belt buckle off her hat.

She said she was going to see a fountain flanked by three kids wrestling a fish. I suppose that would be a sight to see.

She said something about hiding in a church in a cave?

She's probably coming in by hydrofoil, heading east from Bratislava.

She's probably going up Rose Hill. I'm guessing it takes its name from its longest-running resident.

We were just talking about a mausoleum to a man who captured the city and died right afterwards.

You want good luck while you're over there? Do as I told your friend: Find the statue of the historian Anonymous, and rub his pen.

You'll find him lurking around Shipyard Island. ~Budapest

~~~~Buenos Aires~~~~

All I know is, the country started with "A." But he did say he was going to its capital. So I guess THAT's actually all I know.

He asked for advice on getting closer to Uruguay. I told him the most important thing was to share his feelings.

He bragged that he didn't need to do laundry, because he was headed to the site of the Dirty War. I told him that was really inappropriate.

He said he knew of a cafe on Florida Street that sold the best empanadas.

He said he was headed for two weeks of tango. Talk about endurance!

He was very interested in the bit about the British Clock Tower in our exhibit on the Falklands War.

I overheard her plotting to pull a heist in the Bencich Building.

One minute he was here, the next? Desaparecido.

She seemed really interested in the capitols of countries that had banking crises between 1999 and 2002. How morbid! And specific!

She wasn't coy about wanting to visit the biggest city near Chivilcoy. ~Buenos Aires


Before he makes his next move, he's going to check the boat on the Mausoleum of Imam al-Shaf'I to "see which way the wind's blowing."

He told me if he gets in a bind, he'll try to sneak out of town in Khedive Ismail's carriage.

He whispered something about a rendezvous "where they measure the Wafa el Nil."

If he's in town for it, there's no way he'd miss the big match between Al-Ahly and El Zamalek.

Look for her by the Mameluke monuments on the Street of the Coppersmiths.

Look for him prowling around outside the Sultan Hassan Mosque.

She said she was looking for a woman from Crete? When I told her, "Try Crete," she waved me off in annoyance.

She told me she was visiting the Canal, and I asked her to sing an aria from "Aida" for me while she's there.

She's planning a rendezvous by the mosque on the Hill of Thanksgiving. She told me she hoped the stuffing wasn't too dry when she got there.

To help her pass the time on her trip, I lent her a couple of books by Naguib Mahfouz. ~Cairo

~~~~Cape Town~~~~

A friend of mine saw him up on Signal Hill. He was asking someone for the time when a gun went off - and he said, "Got it, thanks!"

Does she like cricket? What am I saying, who doesn't like cricket? I'll bet you'll find her at a Cobras game, trying to sneak into the good seats.

He just said he was going "zef side" to show off some next level beats. I didn't know what he meant, and I'm pretty sure he didn't, either

He mentioned something about hunting for acorns from an endangered silver tree?

He told me he always wanted to ride a quagga. I hated to tell him it's too late.

He wanted to try to get a ride on a BAe Buccaneer, but he said all the thunder in the city was scaring him off.

He went to one of the country’s three capitals.

He's a rugby fan, right? He might try to catch a Stormers game while he's in town.

I know he was planning to snag a ghost frog while he's in town.

I overheard her planning a rendezvous by a memorial that overlooks the path of the "Cape to Cairo"? Have you ever heard of such a thing?

I overheard him say on the phone that he was "digging Brand doing 'African Sun.'"

I suggested he check out the Silvermine Nature Reserve, but he said he was more interested in the mine, thanks.

I told him to see if he can catch the Jazzathon, but he told me he had weightier matters to attend to, and pointed at his loot bag.

She told me she just came back from False Bay, and she was surprised to see water there.

You know, she did leave behind this book on Robben Island. ~Cape Town


He did say that on his way from the airport, he was going to stop by Bouskoura. As he put it, "Sometimes you've gotta stop and smell the Eucalyptus."

He wanted to go to the "White House." At least, that's the translation. He was speaking Portuguese when he said it.

Here, I'll show you on this map. Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, he probably walked into... this one.

Here, she did drop a photo of this giant clock tower looming over a medina.

I heard your henchman's holed up where the Ave des FAR meets Rue Sidi Belyout.

I'm pretty sure your suspect's planning a rendezvous with a ship. She might be up on the sqala keeping an eye on the seas.

Oh, you're getting close. I heard the cops were onto her, so she ducked into Pasha's courthouse and pretended to file papers until they went away.

She left this rather cryptic note: "Head for the White House, in Africa." Isn't the White House in Washington, D.C.?

She's been shopping every day at the Marche Central, on Boulevard Muhammad 5. She told me the turtle soup's fantastic, if you're in the mood for a slow meal.

You know, he did say something about shlepping his sleeping bag to El Hank. ~Casablanca


He kept raving about his favorite athlete - some baseball player who spent only a year in the minor leagues.

He said something about spending a Sunday on "La Grand Jatte?"

He told me he'd show me his favorite basketball move - and then he jumped in the air and stuck his tongue out.

He was excited to see Steve Carrell and Stephen Colbert at Second City. I had to break it to him he's a few years too late.

He was going to watch a team that had two three-peats in the '90s. What a time to be a fan!

He's going to a town where you can get away with a lot of things, but apparently not tax evasion.

He's somewhere along Harlem Ave. I know that doesn't narrow it down much.

I believe he's at the mouth of the Illinois and Michigan Canal.

I told her to take the Brown Line to the Loop - and to remember to jump off before it goes around again.

She told me if she get stuck in traffic on Lake Shore Drive, she'll just try driving on the lake shore.

She was just telling me that she "likes to shop in downtown Downer's Grove." ~Chicago


He might be hiding in Christian IV's old fort - you know, the creepy one in the shape of a pentagram.

I heard that she was scoping out the Louisiana Museum of Modern Art.

I know exactly where he is: the Inderhavnen, looking for a boat where he can stowaway and escape.

I know where she went, but not how she got there. Maybe she snuck into town on a cruise ship docking at ... oh, what do they call the dock, I know the word means "long line"?

If everything I've heard about your suspect is true, he deserves to be locked away in a cramped wooden cage for 16 years. Maybe longer.

It was very strange, she muttered something under her breath about "asking old Jens what time it was in space, hur hur hur."

Prison’s too good for the likes of this henchwoman. You should make her star in a Lars von Trier movie!

Rumor has it she was scoping out the national gallery on Sølvgade.

She mentioned something about heading to the city hall to check the time.

Sure, I know where she went. I told her not to miss the herring buffet at Nyhavns Færgekro.

This lady you're following mentioned checking out an amazing astronomical clock. The slowest gear takes 25,000 years to turn!

Your target wanted to take a drive on the Strøget. Which worries me, because it's the world's longest pedestrian mall. ~Copenhagen


Do you like the races? I sent him just outside the city to Al Lisaili, to watch the camel races. You've never seen anything like it.

He might sneak in by dhow and arrive at the Wharfage.

He's in the land they used to call Al Wasl.

He's in the town founded by the Al Abu Falasa clan.

I asked where he’s going and he simply said, “The World.”

I heard he's at a party, telling everyone he's tight with the Al Maktoum family.

I heard she's going there to shop - for a month! She said it's an official city event?

I overheard her plan. She's following the Creek into Ras Al Khor Wildlife Sanctuary.

I told him he'd be in town for the shopping festival, so he tried to bump his flight to the shoplifting festival.

If she's there for the championships in February and March, you'll probably find him at the Tennis Stadium.

She's taking in the view from At the Top. So that means she's... far from the bottom?

She told me she's passing through the Perfume Souq. I told her that a shower works, too.

You might find him trying to crash a party at Sheikh Saeed's house. ~Dubai


Can I give you a clue? As Mrs. Bloom would say, "Yes I said yes I will Yes."

He got all serious and asked me, "Do you root for Bohemians or Shamrock Rovers? … Think before you answer."

He knows you're coming. He was terrified of being "as stuck as that cat to that mouse in that tube of that Christchurch organ."

He might be hiding in the grotto of the Iveagh Gardens.

He said he didn't know what a 121-meter steel spire had to do with light, but he wanted to try climbing it anyway.

He said something about taking a break in Phoenix Park for some deerhunting.

He was planning a rendezvous by the statue of Henry Grattan.

If you're there around Christmas, try to sneak into Misses Morkan's annual dance on Usher's Island. Never once has it fallen flat.

Maybe I misheard her, but she said she was going to ask Tara for a look at her brooch?

Phil Lynott was my idol; I'd love to go with you and see his statue.

She said she was going to warm up on the hurling pitch in Phoenix Park.

She said she was headed to a storehouse, to check on something incredibly precious to her.

They spotted her running by Yeats' old place and ducking into Wilde's.

You might find him having a pint at the Gravity Bar. ~Dublin


He said something about a "stone bench" on the Plateau?

He's off to see Hemiunu's greatest work.

I heard that she's staying in a spare bedroom in Agouza.

I suspect he’s poking around a mud-brick tomb. He brought his mud-brick pickaxe and everything.

Keep an eye out by Queen Hetepheres's tomb, to see if she's digging around.

She mentioned something about getting a tip on the whereabouts of a missing nose?

She scheduled a rendezvous by the resting place of Wepemnofret.

She stopped by the Nile and caught a cab southwest.

She swore she'd see each of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. I had to break it to her that only one is still standing.

She's going to borrow a boat out in the desert.

She's off to what in ancient times was called "kher neter."

They say the neighborhood she's in only took off because Dahshur was full.

When she told me where she was going, I suggested she brush up on her riddles. ~Giza


He mentioned he was in the middle of a Graham Greene novel. I don't know which one - I think it was about a vacuum cleaner salesman.

He was headed to a building that's very special to Catalina Lasa, although I don't think she ever saw it.

He was planning a rendezvous at the giant statue of Christ by Casablanca.

He's staying at the Santa Isabel Hotel, in the Plaza de Armas.

Here, look at this postcard your suspect dropped. It's a bronze weathervane with a beautiful woman holding a cross and an olive branch. Where would you find something like that?

Here, she dropped a photo of a wax figure in camo. I could swear I've seen him on a dorm room wall somewhere.

I heard her plan a rendezvous by the Monument to the Victims of the Maine.

I heard she was begging the docents to let her play the batá drums at the Casa de Africa.

I know he was planning a rendezvous, but all I caught is that he would stand near six people who didn't finish medical school?

I told her if she gets a chance, she has to catch a concert at the Plaza de San Francisco.

I told her not to forget to go out to the back yard and see Granma.

I told him he could find a 25-carat diamond just lying on the floor of the Capitol. Of course, I didn't tell him it was a replica.

She did say she was going to be looking around a perfume museum. I wonder if they let you open the bottles?

She mentioned she'd be hitting the used record stores, looking for Los Zafiros albums.

She mentioned something about picking up a full set of Suchel. No idea what she was talking about, but it smells like trouble.

She told me she was getting tired of poking around museums, but that this one sounded pretty radical.

You could catch him prowling along the bishop's street. ~Havana


A cousin of a friend of a nephew of mine saw her riding the funicular to the King's Seat.

He dropped a photo of the hotel where he'd be staying. It looks like it has a statue of the knight St. George on top?

He was off to "look through some stuff Creuzer dug up."

He was planning to visit a very old man with a sturdy jaw from Mauer?

He's meeting someone at an amphitheater on top of a holy mountain.

I didn't see his whole itinerary, but he did write something on there about a bonsai museum.

I know he was looking for an 800-year-old California juniper for his studio apartment.

Let's see, where'd he go - he's in a platz somewhere? Definitely a platz.

Look for him in the Altstadt. Which Altstadt? Um, I guess you should try them all.

Oh him? He's staying on the Kurfürsten-Anlage. Here, I'll write down the address.

She said something about visiting the site of a temple to Mercury?

She was just here. She took a call from the Palatinate, asking for an overdue library book? ~Heidelberg

~~~~Ho Chi Minh City~~~~

Everything I know about the city where she went, I learned from Schönberg and Boublil.

He got off the train at District 3, rode a motorcycle taxi over to District 1, got totally lost, and wound up in District 10.

He just said he was going to see "the Jade Emperor and his four big diamonds"?

I heard your friend there showed up at the Acoustic Bar with an electric guitar.

I know she's meeting someone, and I heard her say, "Meet me at the temple. Yeah, the one that used to be a joss stick factory."

She said she'd try to stay underground, but she's not as brave as MacGregor.

She said something about heading to the Pearl of the Far East?

She's posted a photo of herself on Facebook in a Hindu temple, and that sculpture - I could swear that's Mariamman? ~Ho Chi Minh City

~~~~Hong Kong~~~~

Before she left, she asked me if I had any tips for moving a sculpture, it shows somebody sitting down, and oh yeah, it weighs over 250 tons. I told her I'd have to get back to her.

He didn't say where he was going, but he told me if the heat got too … hot, he'd hide out on top of Big Misty Mountain.

He mentioned he was going to prowl the record stores for the latest Canto-pop.

He said he was going to fly into the city and then sneak away by sanpan from Aberdeen Promenade. I guess his "sneaking away" plan doesn't preclude telling everyone where he's doing.

He told me he was going to grab his survival supplies from a cache in Aberdeen. I asked if he'd tried hitting a drug store?

He wanted to go look at the Tsim Sha Tsui Clock Tower.

He was having trouble with his laptop, but he mentioned he could get a new one at the "deep water pier"?

I know he was planning to catch a movie at the Stanley Ho Space Theatre.

I told her that Repulse Bay is a must-see, but she didn't sound too excited.

I understand he was going to hit the Police Museum, to see if they had any mementos from Jackie Chan's time with the force.

Look at his Facebook update: He stowed away in a shipping container, he can't get out, and he has no idea where he is! But he says he heard a bell ring 108 times today?

She mentioned her boss's birthday was coming up and she was going to shop for rare tarantulas at the Goldfish Market. As she put it to me, "What do you get for the woman who's stolen everything?"

She's almost broke, so odds are she's staying somewhere in Chungking Mansions.

You might find him taking the MTR down Johnston Road to Causeway.

Your friend went to my favorite Special Administrative Region in all of China. ~Hong Kong


He made a New Year's resolution to see Jack Lord's office and if possible, turn himself over to him.

He might be hiding in the pews of the church that Queen Emma built.

He said he always wanted to compete in the original Ironman Triathlon.

He said he's headed to the queen's old home at Washington Place.

He said he's staying in FDR's "Western White House" while he supplements his Social Security.

He told me he has a lead on the bones of Kamehameha I.

He whispered something about a rendezvous by the statue of the "Father of Surfing."

He's lurking around the dwelling of the "royal hawk"?

I heard he went to the four Wizard Stones, looking for a miracle cure for a runny nose.

I know he submitted his short films to the HIFF, and he wanted to have an up-close and personal conversation with the judges about why they all got rejected.

Look for him trying to haggle at the Maunakea Market Place.

She mentioned something about "seeing Shangri La"?

She's probably eating a lean meal in the Wo Fat building.

That tough guy? I think he's holed up in a volcanic tuff cone.

We were reminscing about that old Bob Eubanks game show, the one where he sent people into the "Money Volcano"? In fact, I think she went to see if there was any money left there. ~Honolulu


I heard him giving directions to someone: "Start at the Milion, and walk two thousand paces due west."

I’m sure she’ll catch a Belediye game while she’s in town.

Instead of sending him to all the same old mosques in town, I told him to try the new one.

She said she might ride into the city from Paris on the Orient Express. Oh, I hope there isn't a murder!

She told me she always got lost on the Black Sea, so I sent her to Minyatür’s Nautical Instruments.

When he told me where he was going, I asked him to pick up a few spices for me. ~Istanbul


He said there was a tomb he wanted to check out, but first he'd have to drill through the concrete that's blocking it.

He told me he was going to "pay his respects to Eve."

He was meeting someone just outside the city at Ob'hur Creek. I wonder if they're going fishing?

He's in the city that's called "the Bride of the Red Sea."

Here's all I overheard: "Hang a left by the Joan Miró."

I just heard a snippet of her phone call: "If you pass at least 312 meters overhead, you won't get wet."

I just heard her say, "Meet me by the Giant Bicycle."

I suggested she go shopping on Prince Mohammed bin Abdulaziz St., but she told me that paying for things ain't her bag.

She mentioned something about a "barracks" that was built in 1525.

She said something about visiting a superpowered water fountain? I know she brought her swimsuit.

The city he's in was a big deal back when it was part of the Hejaz province.

This city you want has a fascinating and bloody history. Muhammad Ali conquered it back in 1813. No, not the boxer. ~Jeddah


A friend of a cousin of a nephew of mine spotted him lurking around the Bernberg Fashion Museum.

Carmen sent her to check out Sol Kerzner's resort, but she refused. Steven Van Zandt song's really stuck with her.

I believe they were scheduling a henchmeeting at the Heia Safari Ranch.

I heard he's going to flee the city by bus. I would check the terminal at Gandhi Square.

I heard she got her hand slapped for asking about the "off-menu" items at the African Herbalist's Shop.

I know who you're chasing. I told her to go to the Maropeng Visitor Centre, check out the evolutionary timeline, and figure out where she stopped.

I overheard her say that if the fuzz got close, she would skip town and hide in a nature reserve near Heidelberg.

If I know her, she's probably rummaging through the markets for old Stompie Manana records.

The city you're headed to is home to the largest skyscraper in Africa, the Carlton Centre. You're sure to spot her from up there. ~Johannesburg


He's at the KTM. The tri-city. Grab your Dhaki topi and get gone!

He's having some trouble at a temple - the holy monkeys just stole his lunch!

Here, look at this picture she sent me of a pagoda. I'm no arboreal geneaologist, but it looks like the whole building came from the wood of a single tree.

I told her she could drive from the city over to India on the Tribhuvan Highway. Of course, she forgot to mention she's terrified of heights.

I warned her not to tell any lies near the statue of Kala Bhairab. In fact, it would be better if she steers clear entirely.

She had a violent allergic reaction to yak milk and checked herself into Bir Hospital. I would give her a day or two to settle down before you see her.

She said her music playlist for the trip had Cat Stevens, Bob Seger, Rush, OK Go, Will Ackerman, and... Godiego, I think.

She said something about "a stone house of arms and ammunition"?

She was singing under her breath: "I'll soon be seeing you/And your strange bewilderin' time/Will hold me down.”

She's in a garden with six pavilions, named after each of the seasons. That's right - they have six seasons there, so pack accordingly.

She's reconoittering by some kind of a wooden covered shelter? ~Kathmandu


He mentioned he was going to disguise himself as a street vendor on Ozumba Mbadiwe Ave.

He said he wanted to go let out a howl at Tarzan's Jetty.

He said he was headed to Nollywood to get his big break. No, not Hollywood. Nollywood.

Here, your friend dropped this scrap of stationery. I think this is a city seal - look, it shows a shield divided in red, yellow, and blue, with palm trees on either side.

I got this e-mail from her, about an exciting business opportunity to help the Minister Finance retrieve a lost inheritance worth $12 million.... I think I need a new spam filter.

I heard he was lurking around the statue of Herbert Macaulay in Yaba.

I know your suspect is headed for a major port in West Africa. Does that narrow it down?

I spotted him haggling with the vendors at Mile 12 market. Most of the time he wound up paying more than they asked to start with.

Last time I ran into her, she passed along this terrific recipe for pepper soup she picked up at a chop bar.

Let's see, she did mention something about sailing away in a tin can. Or did she say she was sailing to Tin Can?

She mentioned she was headed for "a papa." Whose papa, I wonder?

She's going to a city that takes its name from the word for 'lagoon.'

Well, I know that the name of the suburb where she's staying translates to 'three shore.'

Wole Soyinka, the first African to win the Nobel for Literature, once taught in this city. Your friend here was going to look up his books, but a spy thriller grabbed him first. ~Lagos


I bet he can't count all the pietra dura in Naulakha Pavilion.

He's in a fort. And I don't mean the kind you make with your pillows at the hotel.

I heard he's holed up with some friends in Ravi Town.

Look at this! She nabbed a photo of herself at a premiere with Reema Khan!

She asked me where she could find a bottle brush, gulmohar, pipal, jujube, and ditabark. Luckily I knew just where to send her.

She said she was headed to the city where they passed the Purna Swaraj.

When I told him he'd pass by one of the oldest zoos in the world, he looked baffled and asked how any of the animals could still be alive.

Your suspect wanted to steal Tseko Mpolokeng's marathon number, no matter how sweatstained it is.

You'll find her in Faisal Town, in A Block, or B Block, or maybe C Block, or... I forget the other one. ~Lahore


He mentioned that where he's going, there's a tower named after a meat extract. You're not exactly going to the culinary capital of the world.

He was really eager to go to the Coliseum - and check out the revolving stage.

I know he was eager to see the Lady of Shalott.

If you have a problem of truly national importance, just knock on the door at Number 10 and see if they can give you some advice.

I'll tell you where he's going, using the old Celtic name for the city's river: Lowonidonjon.

She told me that one of their kings got married to the widow next door - and she'd been married seven times before!

What I wouldn't give to have caught a show at the UFO Club in its heyday.

Yes, I know exactly where he is! But what the Dickens is he doing there?

You know, she mentioned the Krays were guests at the first place she'd be visiting. Maybe they'll book a room for her too? ~London


He mentioned something about hiding out in Kawai’s giant kiln.

He was very interested to hear that he'd be passing right by the International Manga Museum.

He's got a friend who's on a rigorous seven-year training regimen. I asked what would happen if his friend missed his goal, and, well - let's just say he'd better not.

I suggested she might want to check out the Mound of Ears, but she wouldn't hear of it.

I warned him that if he's going in the summer he should look both ways in the street or risk getting crushed by a ten ton parade float.

If she gets tired of the hustle and bustle, she might sneak out of the city and hole up in Ohara.

Odds are you'll catch him at a Purple Sanga game.

She mentioned she was going to a temple with the tallest pagoda in Japan.

She said something about checking out relics of the Momoyama period. I asked her if she was a fan of the Kan? school of artists, and she said she was fan of just about anything if it was pricey enough.

She told me she was going to wait in a castle for a little moustachioed man a red cap and shirt, white gloves, and blue overalls. I wonder where she's headed?

She's been complaining she has a wicked Charley horse, so I told her there's a fantastic boar shrine that could fix her right up. ~Kyoto


He told me he wanted to leave a flower on the tomb of Saint Rose, but he couldn't decide what kind.

He wants to try the surf at La Herradura, but I doubt he's ready.

I heard he has a rendezvous at a "temple of the sun." Does that narrow it down?

I know she's planning to hang around one of Pachacuti's old homes.

She did stroll by humming Chabuca Granda's "El Puente de los Suspiros."

She mentioned something about going to "Barranco." Is she jumping in a ravine?

She's outside an electricity museum, trying to make off with their tram.

You might spot her from the lookout tower in Casa de Oquendo. ~Limaw


From what your suspect was saying, I think you're looking for a city whose symbol is a bear reaching for a strawberry tree. Not raspberry - strawberry.

I know exactly where he went. He's a sucker for cocido madrileño.

I know where your suspect went, and he should be there for a while - he bought season tickets at the Estadio Santiago Bernabéu.

I think he's hiding out in El Rastro, by the "Tanners' Riverbank."

I told your friend if she's an art lover, she has to see The Clothed Maja, as well as The Naked Maja.

If I were you, I'd make your way to the city named the "place of many streams."

I’m not sure where he went, but he talked about something precious connected to the patron saint of the lottery?

Rumor has it he's staying at the ritziest hotel in the city, down the hall from where a famous anarchist leader succumbed to his wounds.

She told me she was headed to a monestary to see a local miracle. It was a little like watching water turn into wine, but in this case, she wanted to watch blood turn into ... blood?

She was raving that she'd finally have a chance to see her favorite Bosch in the flesh - or you know, whatever it's painted on.

Your friend mentioned she was going to the city's old General Hospital to see a "woman in blue"?

Your suspect was going to look at the monument in the Plaza de Colón. Maybe to case some future caper. ~Madrid


He said something about jogging across the MacArthur Bridge?

He told me he was meeting someone at the Rock, by the Bay. I told him I wouldn't mind a little more detail.

He told me he's staying near a kind of town, where the best houses are fully-furnished with running water - but the residents don't seem to appreciate it.

I told him not to miss a chance to catch a show at the Hobbit House.

If my eavesdropping is correct, he's meeting someone at a memorial to the War in the Pacific.

My info's sketchy. I just know she's in an octagonal palace that was built in tribute to the "Tree of Life."

She left this photo of a Chinese family playing Mah-jong together. But why is one chair empty?

You might find her trying to recite "My Ultimo Adios" by the Memorial.

You might find him lurking outside St. Lorenzo's church.

You know, I think he walked by here humming "Bayan Ko." ~Manila


He mentioned something about the square where the dead assemble - although it always looked pretty alive to me.

He told me he was going to see the koubba that the king built for his mother. Such a good, good son.

He was going to look for the remains of a remarkable woman: the daughter of a slave who at night, was said to transform into a bird.... Was it a pigeon? Something like that.

He was looking forward to exploring a square in the heart of the city, bumping into guerrab and Barbary apes and coming face-to-snout with a cooked lamb's head.

I told him the best place to find snake charmers. He told me that he's a little more of a snake harmer, himself.

She got in trouble recently, playing hide and seek with some kids in the Saadian tombs.

She said she was headed to Place Rahba Qedima to shop for some weird stuff - lizards, snakes, and ground bones. I know that's not how I cook.

She said she's going to a city in the Maghreb.

She told me she'd be visiting the beautiful gardens of the Almoravid sultans. There's a ruin of a Saadian palace where she might be hiding.

She was planning to make her getaway from the bus station at Bab doukkala.

She's meeting someone near a mosque. Well, near the new mosque. The old one was torn down when they realized it wasn't facing Mecca. What can you do - it's not like the builders had a GPS back then.

She's near a building where the booksellers used to ply their wares. In fact, it takes its name from the Arabic for "librarian", al-Koutoubiyyin. ~Marrakesh

~~~~Mexico City~~~~

He mentioned he wanted to check out Helvia Martínez Verdayes's most famous modeling gig. I didn't know he was into fashion?

He's an art fan, so I'm sure he's going to stop by the Blue House at one point or another.

I heard he's headed to the cathedral that's across from the palace, to scope out its stupendous altar.

I heard your friend say they were going to be sure to see the conchero dancers. I agree, you can't miss the headdresses.

I know she was looking for a major artifact of the Mesoamerican period, but what and where, I'm not sure.

I only overheard this: he's headed to an ancient Temple, to check out a massive stone relief. But I don't know what's on it or where it is.

I would start looking for your friend at the Aztec sites in the Zócalo, in the Centro Histórico.

She didn't say much when she passed through here - only that she was going to see a woman whose face was painted with bells.

She mentioned something about scoping out a museum that curves around like a snail, and ends with a replica of the country's constitution. I dunno - why would you bother stealing a replica?

The Rockefellers destroyed the original, but your perp was going to see Diego Rivera's recreation of his mural "El Hombre, Controlador del Universo." So maybe you can catch your suspect at the Palacio de Bellas

You know, as he passed by he mentioned something about visiting "the golden cave." But when I suggested he take a flashlight, he laughed at me.

You may not know this, but he's a sucker for opera. You might find him checking out the conservatory where Plácido Domingo studied.

Your suspect is off blending in with the capitalinos, while you're wasting time talking to me? Start hoofing it!

Your suspect was going to case Santa Ana's old home, which now houses the Museo Nacional de San Carlos. ~Mexico City


He checked out a book about Hemingway's six-toed cats. And a book titled, "How to Sell Cats."

He mumbled something about a port city, so I assumed smuggling, but then he started waving around pictures of cruise ships.

He seemed paranoid that the rhythm was gonna get him. I told him the Sound Machine was speaking figuratively.

He was headed for a city in the Tropics. Guess he's not the day-job type.

He was looking for a new set of keys: specifically Largo, Biscayne, and West.

He was obsessed with the destruction of an orange bowl. I told him there was a dishware store around the corner and he snapped that I didn't understand.

I heard her exclaim that she couldn't believe the Clevelander wasn't in Ohio.

She asked me to rent her an airboat big enough to tow Vizcaya. Then she laughed, so I thought she was kidding.

She carried a fistful of Carl Hiassen clippings. Or was that Dave Barry? No I remember now: it was Ana Veciana-Suarez.

She said that where she was going, "First you get the money, then you get the power...."

She was heading for Lincoln Road, but hoped she wouldn't see a man in a Speedo on rollerblades.

So he's a crook? Well he won't be the only gangster who's been where he's going. ~Miami


He packed a bag full of big fonts and went to study at VkhUTEMAS.

He said he was going to enter the Tal Memorial chess tournament while he's in town. But he was going to ask them if they'd let him use "checkers rules."

He was very curious about the iconostasis at the Cathedral of the Annunciation. For example, he asked me, "What's an iconostatis?"

His favorite football team is nicknamed Myaso, or "Meat." Go to a game, if you dare.

I can tell you he's staying somewhere between the Boulevard Ring and the Garden Ring.

I suggested he get a room at the Hotel Ukraina. The rumors of a hidden missile silo under the hotel have, so far, proven false.

I told her she could visit Pushkin's museum and then head right across the street to Tolstoy's! But she just asked if I could help her find a Cliff Notes museum.

I'll be honest, I really only know this city for its world-famous Cat Circus.

I'll bet you'll find her at a Red Army game at the CSKA Ice Palace.

She left this photo here. This looks like a tower, and I'm no architect but I'd swear that's a hyperboloid structure.

She's a sucker for spy stuff, and she told me she wanted to tour "the organs of the VChk-OGPU-NKVD-MGB-KGB-MB."

She told me she'd be going past a bell that weighs just over 200 tons. I bet her she couldn't ring it with her head!

She was asking for directions to see Dmitry and Kuzma in the Square.

Your suspect mentioned they wanted to see if the girls were really the type to make Paul McCartney sing and shout. ~Moscow


He mentioned something about heading to a city named "the place of cool waters."

Hmm, I'm not sure where this fellow went, but he said something about a green city in the sun?

I gave her directions in the city, and told her to take a left on Moi, Haile Selassie, a right on Pumwani, and when she sees the police, turn herself in. She didn't appreciate that.

I hear he's mingling with the ex-pats in Westlands.

I heard he was over there scouting some new talent among the Marathon runners.

I know where I last saw him, but I think he fled town to lay low in Mavoko, also known as Athi River.

My friends spotted her stuck in traffic at Uhuru Highway and Haile Selassie Ave.

The suspect went to a city that sits beside the Great Rift Valley. But which one?

They're headed for a capital city in East Africa, I know that much.

This man? He didn't say much, but he said that President Obama has plenty of family in the country where he's going. ~Nairobi


He asked me if I knew where to find the works of Taikichi Irie.

He did mention a Temple that was built by an Empress after her Emperor came down with some kind of eye ailment?

He told me he was going to the world's largest wooden building, hoping to grab some of the world's largest termites.

Her ears perked up when I told him about the "Venus of the Orient," until I told her it wasn't the arms that were missing.

He's headed to a city on the eastern end of the old Silk Road.

I asked if she needed a reservation, and she said she'd be staying in one of the old-fashioned cottages at Edo-San.

I don't know why Buddha would ever have antlers, but apparently he was excited to see one that did.

I'm no fan of cha-ga-yu, but your friend there can't get enough of it.

You might find her taking a stroll along the "path beside the mountains," near the headquarters of the Tenrikyo. ~Nara

New Delhi~

He mentioned he was going to browse through Ashoka's edicts and then catch a cricket game.

He's headed to one of the city's great temples. I warned him to steer clear of the crowds on Janmashtami.

He's really into alternate tunings, so I told him to catch a Half Step Down show.

I asked him to drop off a donation for me at the Jains' bird hospital. I hope he didn't just pocket it!

I didn't catch the context, but he was praising the Birla family for the great work they had done on a building.

When I suggested she see the Secretariat Buildings, she told me she wasn’t really a “horse person.”

Yeah, I know where he's going, but I don't agree with it. I like the old deli better.

You might find him in the biggest mosque in India. ~New Delhi

~~~~New York~~~~

All I know is, it's one of those cities with a, what do you call it? Philharmonic. That Phil, he really gets around.

He said he wanted to see the rink where the Rangers play. Which confused me - I'd never heard of baseball on ice.

He told me he was headed to Italy. Well, not actual Italy -- a much smaller version of the original.

He was headed someplace where he could meet a delegate from every nation in the world. I told him he could stay here and do that on the Internet.

I know the city was famous for its museums, and even more famous for the postcards you could get in its museum gift shops.

She asked if I'd ever been to Prospect Park. Now that you tell me she's a thief, I'd watch for a major stroller heist.

She mentioned she was on her way to the art galleries of Chelsea. It was a little suspicious that she was wearing a robber's mask when she said it.

She mentioned wanting to cross the George Washington Bridge. But I'm not sure I'd want to cross George Washington - he defeated the English army!

She wanted to see the work of Robert Moses. So I assume she went to the Robert Red Sea.

She wanted to take me down to Chinatown, but had to wait until they finished track work on the C/E train.

She was excited to fly into JFK airport, though she suspected it was part of a conspiracy to mask the existence of a second airport.

She was here for a while, but then left to find a park that was "a little more Central."

She was such a jerk. She said the museum she was going to was so much better than ours because it had a full-size blue whale AND a sperm whale fighting a squid. ~New York


He got in trouble trying to light a cigarette with the Centennial Flame.

He told me he has an irresistable urge to lick the most precious postage stamp at the museum in Gatineau. See that he gets help, okay?

He said he's in a little hamlet named Blackburn?

He told me she was headed to Bytown and I said he's too late--they changed the name years ago.

I bet him he couldn't skate all the way there from Kingston on the Rideau Canal.

I hear she was almost attacked in a plaza by a gigantic bronze spider that towered over her head!

I heard he wants to fiddle with the Morse Code decoder outside the war museum.

I heard he’s going to the old Museum of Man. But which man, I have no clue.

I heard he's having tea at a Prime Minister's summer retreat.

I heard him on his mobile: "Meet me in the hall by Haida Gwaii."

I joked that she should try to speak with King's mother at the tearoom.

I panicked when I heard - she wants to steal one of Joseph Casavant's organs! You'll save Joseph, right?

I suggested he stay at the hostel at Nicholas Gaol, but the idea of sleeping in a prison made him nervous.

She's staying by the Notre Dame cathedral. Which Notre Dame cathedral? Hmm, she didn't mention that when I was eavesdropping …

While he's there, I suggested he pay his respects by the Book of Remembrance.

You know, Queen Victoria selected the city he's in to be the country's capital. ~Ottawa

~~~~Panama City~~~~

He could be picking up knick-knacks at the National Artisans Market, by the ruins of the old city.

He was whispering, so I might have misheard - but I think he had a lock for some guy named Pedro Miguel.

He'll make time for the Museo Antropológico Reina Torres de Araúz. Did you know he majored in anthropology? That's why he had to turn to crime.

He's in Central America, right by a waterway between the Pacific and the Atlantic.

Here, he dropped this photo of a siege of herons outside the President's palace.

I know where he went. We were just talking about the famous flat arch - and how it got a whole lot flatter in 2003.

I told him the name of a café in the neighborhood of La Exposición where he could get the best seco in town.

She wanted to rent a boat, but she said it could be no bigger than 950 feet long and 106 feet wide.

She wanted to see the Einstein head sculpture in El Cangrejo.

She's headed to the old Santo Domingo convent, to scour a museum of religious art.

She's meeting somebody at the Parque Bolívar - but which Parque Bolívar?

Yeah, I know where she went. That town rocks! Remember that sick show they had outside the Vatican Embassy?

You might find her trying to tame a tapir in Parque Natural Metropolitano.

You might find him brushing up on his Kuna dances at Mi Pueblito.

You'll find her standing by a park, outside the Iglesia de San Francisco. ~Panama City


He dropped these instructions: "The white, blue, and red pipes are safe to sneak through. Beware - green is water and yellow is electricity. Or, just try the front door."

He said he was off to check out a comedy by Jean-Baptiste Poquelin. I didn’t recognize the name, but I'm told he was famous.

He told me he was headed to where Frederick Chopin's death mask was cast. I said I'd rather just try his stuff on iTunes and see what I think.

He told me he's headed to a major foodie capital. I couldn't resist telling him that it's also the home of pasteurization.

Here's a clue for you - a note from her daily planner about a lunch date at Jules Verne's.

I know he was planning to come in by boat. He called ahead to have someone check the Zouave and make sure the river wasn't flooding.

I told her if she ever gets lost, she should trek back to Point Zéro by the cathedral and count the kilometres from there.

Where did he go?...Here, pass me one of those madeleines and I’m sure I’ll remember.

Your friend has a sharp wit, but I warned him to hold his tongue while he's over there. He doesn't want to end up like Francis Seldon!

You'll see some odd things in the city where she went. I mean, who would think of turning "The Firebird Suite" into a fountain? At least it should shoot flames. ~Paris


I can't tell you where he went. I swore I'd keep Múm.

I saw him strolling by with a Halldór Laxness novel under his arm.

I spotted a campaign sticker for "Best Party 2010" on his luggage.

I wish I could be there when you track him down - that'll be the biggest match that town has seen since Fischer and Spassky.

If she's tired of the city, she might paddle out to Viðey.

It was one of those "Land" places, somethingland, not Greenland, more like... Freezingland? Is that a place?

She said she'd catch some canvases by Erró.

She said something about checking out a "tower of light."

She said something about “settling in” with a nice book?

She was hot on the trail of an old Norse geneaological record. I'm not sure why - maybe she's looking for baby names?

She was planning a rendezvous by the statue of Leifur Eiríksson, right by that big church.

The people of this city come from hardy literary stock. How many people who hack a living out of the woods and shiver through a 20-hour night have time to sit down and write a book about it?

You might find him hunting for old Sugarcubes records.

You might find him taking the naturally warm waters at the Blue Lagoon. ~Reykjavik

~~~~Rio de Janiero~~~~

He mentioned he was going to blend in with the backpackers in Catete.

I saw the henchman gliding down from Beautiful Rock to Cucumber Beach.

If my guess is right, he went to the city with the world's largest urban forest.

Oh, you're lucky: you're headed for a cidade maravilhosa. Bring a swim suit!

She said something about a rendezvous at the Quinta, near the old imperial palace.

She stopped through the city, but last I heard, she decided to hole up across the bay at Niterói.

She told me she was going to see a statue that was struck by lightning in 2008. "Not to be sacrilegious," she said, "but what a sight that must've been!" ~Rio de Janiero

~~~~San Diego~~~~

All he said is he's going after Don VanHooser's badge.

He was hoping to get in some Over-the-line. He's been practicing with his two teammates all year.

He went to the west end of the old Jackass Mail route.

He's staying in the city where the Spirit of St. Louis was built.

High on her list of things to see is an actual Fisher Space Pen. I told her of the museum where the one that saved the Apollo XI mission is.

I heard him say something about a statue of a woman named Kate in Sefton Plaza.

She asked if there was a museum where she could get one of Jackie Cochrane's flight suits for Halloween.

She might be lurking around Father Junipero Serra's first mission.

She said something about checking out a "frozen zoo"?

She was on the prowl for model dirigibles, for her replica of the first Led Zeppelin album.

The only thing I heard her say was that she wanted to see the giant panda at the zoo.

You might find her pretending to rob a stagecoach at the Wells Fargo Museum.

You might find him taking his headshots and his favorite monologue to the Old Globe Theatre. But I'm not sure which of the three stages he's near. ~San Diego

~~~~San Francisco~~~~~

He asked me if I had a recommendation: should he go through OAK or SJC? I suggested he go to whichever was cheapest, but he told me money was no object!

He said something about trying to catch a Mission Blue Butterfly on the Twin Peaks.

Here, he dropped this shopping list: "Stop by Ferry Plaza Farmer's Market. Pick up emu chops, sashimi, and gravlax."

I did just get a text message from her. It says, "Feeling peaceful by Taniguchi's pagoda. Makes me wonder if a life of crime's for me."

I heard he was so filthy from his flight, he stopped to freshen up at the James Lick Baths.

I heard your henchwoman was prowling around Leland Jr.'s school, trying to grab some blank diplomas.

I overheard him on the phone saying something about cutting through Sherwood Forest to get to Mount Davidson.

I overheard him saying something about catching a matinee at a theater near Market and 17th Streets.

Isn't this the guy who almost got arrested for trying to steal a kid's ice cream in Bernal Heights Park?

Oh yeah, I just got a text message from her. Said she was trying to shake off the chill from the fog at the Warming Hut.

Oh yeah, this guy. Check this out: it's a photo of him playing peek-a-boo behind the Goddess of Democracy statue in Portsmouth Square.

She dropped a note that said she was going to no valley. But she spelled it "Noe." Weird.

Sure, I know her. For my birthday she gave me this autographed photo of Robert Franklin Stroud, perched in his cell.

This person you're searching for - I know he mentioned something about a rendezvous at "Lillie's tower."

Your friend here said something about a meeting at "Lillie's sculpture," and a trio of firemen?

You're in luck, I just got a text message from him. It says, "I searched the whole de Young Museum, but they didn't have anything about Dennis!" ~San Francisco


He mentioned he's a big cabbage fan. I told him he'll be very, very happy where he's going.

He must be running out of money - I heard he got kicked out after trying to sleep in a noraebang in Myeongdong.

He said he wanted to see what a 72-foot tall man with a hammer looked like, and wondered if they'd bolted it down.

He said he wanted to see the urban renewal project that uncovered a "lost" stream.

He said he'd be passing by a bell that used to ring 33 times every morning and 28 times at sunset.

I heard he passed out in a Yangban house, until the SMPA kicked him out.

I heard she made a faux pas when she went to the palace and asked if the zoo was still open.

I've lived there, so I gave him some tips. I remember one October, I watched a fabulous royal wedding - only to find out it was a reenactment!

She just said she was going to a "blue house."

She mentioned she wanted to see the mementos of seven well-connected concubines. I didn't ask for the details.

She told me she didn't want to linger in town, but she had to swing by the music fountain.

She was planning a rendezvous, so I suggested she try the Hall of Happy Meetings.

You might find him sunbathing on the quad at Yonsei. ~Seoul

~~~~Tel Aviv~~~~

He asked me to book him at the Crowne Plaza as "Dan H.," the Dan Hotel as "Izzy Rotel," and the Isrotel as "C. Plaza." I hope he wasn't planning a mini-bar crime spree.

He didn't know which radio station he'd listen to more: Galatz or Galgalatz. My feeling was, that extra Gal makes a difference.

He said he was going somewhere he could stroll like a Rothschild, but was worried the Mediterranean air would damage his strolling hat.

He said he was going to the Nachalat Binyamin, and the Palmach Museum--he sounded like he had something nasty caught in his throat.

He took out a book on the Hassan Bek Mosque, and a book on towing landmarks across the ocean. Probably shouldn't shelve those side-by-side.

He wanted tickets to a National Theater that could only be called "The Stage." Since I didn't understand, I offered him orchestra seats to our performance of "Seussical."

He wanted to see a basketball team with 5 European Championships, but was hoping to avoid Europe.

He was unusually interested in intercontinental land-bridges. I guessed he was a civil-tectonic engineer.

He went on and on about how, where he was going, they once parceled out land with a seashell lottery. So, maybe Atlantis?

She asked if we had any crates large enough to fit a fountain by Agam. I said no, and told her to try across the street at Plazas, Public Squares, and Beyond.

She told me that while she was there, she was going to visit Teimoso at the zoo. She said her parents never let her have a caiman growing up and, well, look how she turned out. ~Tel Aviv


He said something looking for an "ex machina?"

He was griping about having to climb the "neck-breaking" steps.

He’s headed for a museum in a fire station. But that’s all I caught from my eavesdropping.

He's probably hiding in the only walled city in North America.

Here's the joke I told him: So Churchill, Roosevelt, and William Lyon Mackenzie King walk into a Citadel

I bet him he couldn't find the fossils inside Église St-Roch.

I know she wants to ride an ice slide on the boardwalk?

I suggested he give "Les Anciens Canadiens" a read. He told me he got arthritis just thinking about it.

If she's low on loonies, she said she'll try to stay in the old army barracks in the park.

She told me if things get too hot, she might head north and hide out in Nunavik.

She's probably sipping Caribou just up the cliff from the St. Lawrence River.

So she was telling me that in the city, there's a Foundry, with a model of the city. ~Quebec


He said he's staying at a "really classy joint" up the hill from Guápulo.

I only know that she's headed near San Antonio.

I only know that she's meeting someone at a Jesuit church in the center of town.

I told him if he needs to set his watch, he could swing by the solar chronometer at the Museo Solar Inti Ñan.

She caught a bus to the capital - but I don't know if she came south from Colombia or north from Peru.

She told me she wants to take lasso lessons from an authentic chagra. Somehow before this is over I'm guessing she'll be the one who's hogtied.

She was bragging that she had dinner plans at the Archbishop's Palace.

She was practicing her monologue so she could angle for an audition at the Teatro Sucre.

She whispered that she'd be in the Plaza by the Presidential Palace. Does that narrow it down? ~Quito


A friend of mine spotted him lurking around a basilica. Apparently he was trying to spy on the vestal virgins.

All she said, in a hushed tone, was that she's going to pay tribute to the master of giallo, or die in a pit of razor wire trying.

He said something about a staircase that was built to commemorate the end of the plague. Me, if I had to tend to a city full of sick people, I would build an escalator.

I heard he got lost stumbling up and down and up and down Giuseppe Momos's double helix.

I heard that his expense account ran out. You might find him grabbing coins out of the Trevi Fountain.

I just heard from your suspect. She told me she put off his weekly bath so she could take it at Caracalla, and she was very, very disappointed when she got there.

I told him to be sure to see Trajan's Column, and he asked me which newspaper it's in.

If we're talking football, your perp's a big fan of Società Sportiva Lazio - maybe he'll show up for a game.

She was determined to see the Altar of Heaven, even if she had to get there on her knees!

Well, the city's most famous arena is the one that was built on the site of Nero's palace. But the new Olympic Stadium's not bad either. Hope your suspect isn't planning on stealing either of them.

You might catch him first thing in the morning, practicing his tennis game at Foro Italico.

Your friend said she'd be hiding underground in an old temple by San Clemente.

Your suspect wanted to see how fresh water tasted when it flowed from over 400 km of aqueducts. I think they're a little late.

Your suspect went to a major fashion city - I wouldn't be surprised if somebody sent her to pick up a few things on Via Condotti. ~Rome


Don't let her anywhere near Eisriesenwelt. If she goes in there, you'll never find her.

He could be at the falconry museum at Hohenwerfen fortress.

He could be lurking around St. Sebastian’s. I guess it's easier to mingle with the upper crust when they can't run away from you.

He could be prowling around Tanzmeisterhaus, looking for any scraps of music that got left behind. I didn't have the heart to tell him the original house was destroyed in the war.

He wouldn't stop singing "So Long, Farewell" again and again. Finally I told him, "Shut your Trapps!"

He's in an Alpine town that's famous for its salt - it's right there in the name.

He's probably at Schloss Klessheim, betting against the house.

I asked her to pick me up a souvenir of Wolferl while she's in town. A big fluffy wig, for example.

I told her that just outside the city, the hills are alive with the sound of music.

I told her this is the birthplace of one of the world's greatest composers, and her jaw dropped and she asked, "Herb Alpert?"

I told your friend that I'm the world's biggest fan of Herbert von Karajan. Got everything he ever recorded. I even spent a night by his grave!

If you're in town during the festival, don't miss a chance to see Jedermann in the Square.

Oddly enough, her favorite song is "Silent Night." I suggested she visit the village where its composer was born.

She has a rendezvous by the tomb of a great physician.

She said she's hot on the trail of a famous person's skull. That's not how I'd pass my vacation, but to each her own.

She said something about trying to snag a spare cherub from the Angels Staircase?

She was last spotted being chased out of Nonnberg Abbey by a pack of nuns waving yardsticks.

The town where he went sits on the old site of Juvavum. ~Salzburg

~~~~Sao Paulo~~~~

He said something about taking a trip to the largest mall in Brazil.

He told me he was getting extra sleep to get ready for the Virada Cultural.

Here, look at this picture. She thought she'd scored a piece by Otavio and Gustavo, but it turns out it's just a gang tag.

Here, she posted on Facebook that she's holed up in a neighborhood that the Tupis would call "little snake."

It sounds like her boss wanted her to visit someone named Butantan, but she balked. She said she's ophidiophobic.

She mentioned she was going to an institute that studies Amazonian wildlife. The deadly kind.

She mentioned that an Italian gallery owner helped found the museum. That narrows it down, right?

She said something about stopping by Brooklin to speak with her broker.

She told me that while she was there, she was going to visit Teimoso at the zoo. She said her parents never let her have a caiman growing up and, well, look how she turned out. ~Sao Paulo


He loves to collect small swords, and heard there's a society for people like him in the gardens where he's going.

He said he was looking for the largest Pearl in the city?

He wanted to catch a show at Jean-Marie Charpentier's Crystal Palace. I've never heard of royalty by that name, myself.

He's probably digging around for old Crystal Butterfly records.

Here, look at this photo he dropped of a jade rock in a garden. It looks exquisite!

I heard her say to someone: "Meet me at the old Bubbling Park Cemetery - and if you're late, I'll bury ya there."

She said she used to steal Swatches from kids on the playground, and now she was going to case a whole gallery of Swatch art.

She wanted to book a room in a hotel that wasn't too loud. A hotel of peace, if you will.

There's an Orson Welles movie about the city your suspect went to - or wait, maybe it was Hitchcock, or Charlie Chaplin! I think I'm confusing three different movies.

You might find him trying to pet the cockroaches at the city's Natural Wild Insect Kingdom. ~Shanghai


All I heard as she was walking by was something about "raffles" and a "statue." So, maybe she's raffling off a statue?

Here, she dropped this postcard of a temple with, oh, it looks like 72 deities posed around the tower. Look at these colors!

I know she was planning to bring a lion costume and sneak into a parade down Orchard Road.

I know when she gets there, she's going to meet someone in Chinatown. Does that narrow it down?

I suggested he grab lunch at one of the restaurants at the pasar besi.

It was hard to eavesdrop on her as she whispered into her phone, but I know she said something about meeting at a curio shop on Temple Street.

She told me she was hoping to get into town in time for the Chinese New Year. I asked her if she'd tried checking a calendar?

She wanted to learn about metal from Brader Bo's Vicious Volume.

You might find her lurking outside the old yellow Treasurer's House, by the Istana. ~Singapore


Depending on when you follow him, you might catch him celebrating on Walpurgis Night with his pals in Skåne.

Did you know the guy you're chasing is a puppet scholar? He has a PhD in Marionettes and a Master's in Muppets.

He mentioned he was going to visit the home of a controversial playwright who didn't win a Nobel Prize. That doesn't really narrow it down for you, does it?

I know she was going to look at old Adolphus' warship, that dates back to the Stormaktstiden. I think it has its own museum now.

I know this fellow's a theater buff. He was excited to hear that Miss Julie's back in town.

I never miss Eurovision, and for my money? The greatest winner ever was "Waterloo." And wow, those outfits - wait, what was your question?

I'll give you some free advice - he's headed to a museum with a 4,000-piece collection. But be warned: there are strings attached.

She mentioned she was going to crash a big banquet at Stadshuset. I'd go find her before security does!

She mentioned the city she's headed to is named for the timber-stock fences that steered traffic through its waterways.

She said something about wanting to see the childhood home of ... Britt Ekland? Sorry, she's a little before my time.

You know, he mentioned he was going to check out a ship from the 17th century. He told me it had sunk once, so what are the odds it would happen again?

You know, I thought I heard her saying she was going to steal some toeshoes for her niece at the Dansmuseet at Gustav Adolfs Torg.

You might catch him in the park, waiting for a glimpse of Crown Princess Victoria. Actually, I guess he's just plain stalking her.

You're in luck. It's not every day you pursue someone to the birthplace of sledge hockey.

Your suspect starts every day with a swim. I would keep an eye on Sturebadet at Sturegallerian. ~Stockholm


Here, she left behind this photo of a building by the water. Look at the roof on that place- the locals say it was inspired by orange peels, but I don’t see it.

I told her to try a game of chess in Hyde Park. She said she didn't want the whole park to be able to watch her lose.

I told him to enjoy his trip, but to watch out for funnel-web spiders. Well, the boy ones, anyway.

She must have snuck into the harbour right between the "wedding cakes."

She said she was going there on business, but she confided that she was trying to land a role in a Baz Luhrmann flick.

Sure, I know where she went. She was just asking me which of the two revolving restaurants she should try. I told her they both made me tablesick.

You might catch her driving away from downtown over the Coat Hanger.

You might find her getting the lay of the land standing right below a 35,000 gallon water tank.

You might find him standing outside Fox Studios, near Bondi Beach, with his headshots. ~Sydney

~~~~The Hague~~~~

He said he's hunting for a laughing boy at Maurice's House. I'm guessing Maurice knows better knock-knock jokes than your friend there.

He said he's walking around a hall in an old hunting lodge, looking for some knights?

He told me he was looking for a war palace. I said, why not try something completely different?

He told me where he was going, and said, "I always hoped I'd make it big - like, warlord big - and land on trial there."

He's headed to some hall to hear the Queen speak?

He's hopelessly lost in the stairwell of the M. C. Escher museum.

Here, she dropped this pic of the Golden Carriage. I don't know - if I were the Queen I'd ask for something with a little more horsepower.

I gave him a free ticket to see Raiders'99 play, but it just made him angry - he thought he missed the game!

I heard he was going to the coast to celebrate the first herring of the year.

I heard him say to someone, "Meet me at the statue of Little John, by the pond."

I just know one thing: she's always wanted to study under Mirella Simoncini.

She wanted to steal an armful of tin-glazed white-and-blue tiles.

She's probably at the United Nations court, to see if they'll fix an international parking ticket.

She's quite an art connoisseur - she asked me question after question about Vermeer.

When I told him Queen Beatrix lived there, he asked if she'd autograph his copy of "Peter Rabbit." I told him "Wrong Beatrix."

Your friend's cocky - I heard she challenged Raymond van Barneveld to a darts match. ~The Hague


All I heard was his mumbling as he walked by, but I know he said something about a lost treasure on "dream island."

He did say he was checking out the wreck of an ill-fated fishing boat that wandered into the wrong "snowstorm."

He told me that most of what he knows about this city's history, he picked up from jidaigeki.

I know she was excited to see the birthplace of her favorite filmmaker, a genius who'd had plenty of "high and low" times in his life.

I know where he went. I had a friend who passed through the city in 1923. The destruction was unbelievable.

I suggested if she has a free day, she should swing by the parasitological museum. She politely said, "No thanks."

I told him to make sure he's not in town when the great catfish awakens in the bay and brings destruction.

She mentioned that she couldn't get into most of the palace, so she was planning to case the joint from the garden over to the east.

She said she couldn't wait to get to the field of autumn leaves and play some old GameBoy carts.

She said something about getting into the city by ferry and docking at Ariake.

Sure, I know where she went. My father was there once - he got to see Joe Frazier win his gold medal!

You might catch him snoring through a matinee at the National Noh Theatre. ~Tokyo


All I know is, you might find him in a park with a waterfall.

Every year I try to get up to this city for the film festival. I hate movies - I just like to hob-nob with the glitterati.

I heard your suspect listening to Rush. If you're a real Rush fan, you know what "YYZ" means.

I saw this lady. She didn't say where she was going, but she mentioned she was going to a football game - "pads and tackle" football, not "why can't I use my hands?" football.

It was strange - I was eavesdropping, er, overhearing what your suspect was saying, and he mentioned going to a garden in the clouds?

My sources tell me she was last seen at the History of Contraception Museum. I don't want to know what she might be stealing from there.

She just texted me, and she sounds scared. "The drivers here are so bad they're crashing into the buildings. Look, here's a news truck hanging halfway up a building!"

Where did he go … he mentioned something about going to look for old Glenn Gould records.

Yes, she passed right by here a minute ago. She said something about “going to watch the argonauts”?

You know your perp's a giant sports fan. In fact, he told me he was going to pay his respects at the grave of the man who first said, "He shoots, he scores!"Your suspect's hiding out in a park. But not just any park - this one won a Governor General's Award.

You might find her scalping tickets outside the Shaw Festival.

Your suspect's hiding out in a park. But not just any park - this one won a Governor General's Award. ~Toronto


He asked me if I knew where to find a 1743 Addington cricket bat. Luckily I knew just the place.

He had to schedule a rendezvous, so I suggested where he could find a meeting house.

He said he wanted to scope out what they'd dug up of Plimmer's pet project.

He said something about catching the Firebirds in Basin Reserve?

Here, she left me a voicemail from a pub. Listen close and you can faintly hear someone telling off some folks from Auckland.

I heard him say he was going to the former site of Edoras. I wasn't aware it actually existed.

I recommended the name of a city to him, and he asked, "Is that where they make the rubber boots?"

I was just arguing with him. I told him "Heavenly Creatures" is Jackson's best film, but his pick was "Meet the Feebles."

She mentioned something about the ferry crash of 1968.

She was headed to the Hutt Valley. Watch your back when you go after her, and avoid getting frozen in Carbonite.

The message was garbled because she was sitting on her cell phone, but she was griping about getting lost in a museum with her papa?

You're looking for a capital in the roaring forties.

You might see him up on Brooklyn Hill, tilting at a windmill. ~Wellington